MOD Kickoff

It is official....I have obviously been in denial. Denial that I am a preemie mom, yes I act the part and hibernate from germs, sanitize sterilize, see a difference in Gunner's milestone attainment...but everyday, he is a fat, healthy, and strong baby. Any outsider would never guess he is a preemie. I guess I have fallen into this mindset too, all too quickly forgetting the struggle we had to get him where he is today.

Last night, I was reminded. I went to the MOD kickoff meeting...just walking around, looking at little kids that were once preemies, meeting the ambassador family (twins born at 23 weeks 6 days, one a sweet tiny 4 year old girl, the other an angel boy), pictures on the wall, the film promoting the walk....I was a mess, unexpectedly, but very publicly...bawling. It was wonderful, but hard too.

I am even more passionate now, humbling to remember how far we have come!

I am so grateful for everyone who has pledged their support or already made a donation to our team, but if you haven't, please consider it. You can join our team by clicking this link.

If you choose to donate in lieu of walking, here are some amounts to consider:

$7, $1 for each week Gunner should have spent in the belly past when he was born

$23.10, 10-cents a day for each day Gunner was in utero (this should be a $40 donation, if he were full term)

$39, $1 a day for each day Gunner was in the NICU

$51, $1 for each week I was on bedrest, in total fear of the outcome

Gunner and his parents thank you...

You can tell your preemie is getting big...

when the sweet little "santa baby" set does not fit around his neck...even when I lift up his double chin.

Fatty McFatso...So I had to quick take a pic with it around, but not attached so that we could at least see it on him!

My grandma responded to my blog entry last night with this...

Just a note to say that full term babies have the same problems. I learnt about salt water & a nose syringe early on. Both my babies needed suctioning from time to time. It really works & salt water (saline) is also healing. Use it on yourself if you get a cold.

SOOOO true! All babies have delicate immune systems! They are all very fragile, so as we are in the midst of RSV season and healthy full term babies are getting sick the same as preemies, having machines breathe for them, it makes me know he is just more susceptible. If it can happen to them, it sure as heck can happen to him, which makes me even more vigalent of his exposure.

He had mucus draining into his eye this morning, which prompted a call to the oncall nurse, who recommended he be seen. He was, we were reassured that we are doing everything right, and thank goodness no ear infection!

Not a better sound I can think of...

than the sound of a wee babe cooing delightfully at your side...unless that wee babe didn't have a nasty nose rattle that goes along with the sweet cooing...

I hate sickness. Although Gunner is getting a lot better, he is still stuffy and snorty. Babies are so hard to have sick. There is so little you can do for them to keep them comfy. Thank goodness for little noses saline, the aspirator he HATES, and breast milk. Other than that, there is very little I can do.

On a side note, I did discover something amazing and interesting about breast milk that I did not know. Someone mentioned that a baby's saliva contians germs that influence mom's body to make antibodies that fight whatever illness he is having. How amazing is that? But I wondered, it kinda sounds to good to be true...so I googled...and I found on many sites information similar to this: (from http://www.007b.com/wonders_breastmilk.php)


Immune boosters. In each feeding mother delivers MILLIONS of LIVING white blood cells to her baby to help baby fight off all kinds of diseases. You will not find these living cells in formula! Also, when mother is exposed to a germ, she makes antibodies to that germ and gives these antibodies to her infant via her milk. Breast milk also contains factors that prevent microbes from attaching, and a long list of other antiviral, antibacterial and antiparasitic factors.

Even more amazing, if a baby contracts an illness that mom has not been exposed to previously, he will transfer this organism through his saliva to the breast, where antibodies are manufactured on site and then sent back to baby via the milk to help him cope. Mothers who wean their babies from the breast during the first and even second and third years of life often notice that their child becomes sick more than before, or for the first time. Lisa Marasco and Jan Barger in Examining the Evidence for Cue feeding of Breastfed Infants

However, this illness makes me think, where would he contract such an illness? He is not around anyone but his family and rarely a little extended family. So of course it is no one's fault he is sick, but no one but me is up several times a night suctioning him so he can breathe. No one else is googling the symptoms of RSV, praying he doesn't have it. No one else is talking to after hours nurse explaining his symptoms, getting the low down on what to do next. No one but me.

I think it is getting increasingly hard to explain to others my desire to keep him out of crowds and home where it is "semi-safe". No one actually questions it (to my face) but I am sure it is mentioned not in front of me. I say this because on the outside he is huge, he looks completely normal. He is on the full term baby scales, over top on the preemie scales, he is actually BIGGER than some full term babies that are his actual age (when he should be almost 2 months younger than them).

Tis the curse of preemie parenting. See, he was born at 33 weeks and while I am thankful for each day he spent in utero past 28 weeks when my water unexpectedly broke, at 33 weeks and prior babies are born with no immune system period. At 34 weeks, mom's immunity begins to transfer to baby. So between 34 and 40 weeks, that is when baby develops the small amount of immunity he will have at full term.

Baby Duggar: Soapbox topic....

Hmm, when I tried to look up "fine" on dictionary.com, this was the choice that fit the context best:

fine: healthy; well: In spite of his recent illness, he looks fine.

I have to say this entry is inspired by a mom who knows first hand what "fine" lmeans in this exact context. Her beautiful son was born too soon at almost this gestational age of the Duggar girl, Josie. To read what "fine" means to a 26 weeker, click here.

Why do I go here? Because that is what they have described the latest Baby Duggar as. For those of you who do not know, Josie Duggar was born more than three months early. She was due in March. It is December. I know that Gunner certainly was not a 25-weeker. He was a strong 33 weeker. But I also am very aware that he could have been a 28 weeker, which is only 3 weeks older than Josie.

For people who do not know the ramifications of a premature birth, let alone a 25-week premature birth, let me run down a few...

Apneas: In a premature baby, the part of the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) that controls breathing is not yet mature enough to allow nonstop breathing. This causes large bursts of breath followed by periods of shallow breathing or stopped breathing. The medical term for this is apnea of prematurity, or AOP.

Bradies: (bradycardia) slowing down of your premature baby's heart rate to less than 100 beats a minute, results in blue baby

Infection: Premature babies have no immune system, as antibodies are not passed from mom to the fetus until 34 weeks.

RDS: (respiratory distress syndrome) the infant's immature lungs don't produce enough of an important substance called surfactant. Surfactant allows the inner surface of the lungs to expand properly when the infant makes the change from the womb to breathing air after birth

Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP), which is abnormal growth of the blood vessels in an infant's eye. About 7% of babies weighing 1,250 grams (2.75 pounds) or less at birth develop ROP, and the resulting damage may range from mild (the need for glasses) to severe (blindness)

Warmth/Temperature: Premature babies lack the body fat necessary to maintain their body temperature, even when swaddled with blankets. Therefore, incubators or radiant warmers are used to keep the babies warm

I think my biggest concern is that this event will sensationalize premature birth, especially if this baby makes it out healthy and thriving (which is of course what anyone hopes, but also notice the word "if". "If" is the proper term given this baby's current condition.) and make it seem that a premature baby is just a small baby. You know my drive to help educate future parents (my students) and anyone who will listen to me about prematurity and how to have healthy babies, so I just wanted to put my two cents out there.

Fat baby tries cereal...

Gunner had his 6 month well baby check up on Tuesday as I mentioned and he is officially a fatty fatso. My original plan was to try some solids at 6 months adjusted age, which is about 8 months adjusted. This would be in the beginning of January.

On second thought, I thought it might be best to do it while I was off on Christmas break so he could get used to it in some kind of routine before I went back to work. Greyson started around 5 1/2 months and it took him a bit to get adjusted. Gunner on the other hand...well his only problem was that I was not shoveling it in his mouth fast enough. So, fatty fatso will probably be getting even more fat soon. :) I will post video of this soon. In it, you can see he is handling this like a chamP!

Six Month Stats...

(Good question Gunner, yes, these people are really your relatives...as mommy makes goo goo faces at you!)

"Little" Gunner had his 6 month well-baby exam this morning at 8 am...wow, that is early when you have to drag 2 kids out of much needed sleep!

He is getting to be BIG boy Gunner...he is on the Full Term Baby charts, and not just at the 1%, but even better. He is now:

• 15 lbs!!!! which is the 6th percentile for (FULL TERM babies)
• 25 1/2 inches!!!! which is the 7th percentile for (FULL TERM babies)
• And head circumference is the 12th percentile for (FULL TERM babies)

Let's compare....Greyson at 6 months, was 16 lbs, 24 1/2 inches! So this boy is growing like a weed! Wooo hooo....The only downside of this is, as I predicted, he will be getting $750 shots instead of $500 shots come January as they are based on weight.

In terms of development, he is right where a 5 month old baby should be, which is great since he is actually only 4 months and some change. He is making steady progress and they are extremely pleased with his growth (4 lbs and 3 inches in 2 months...they better be!)

We will be working on more tummy time to build his neck and get him ready to get moving and rolling. He is so close, but no cigar to rolling. He gets all up on his side and then rocks back down.

We will also be trying some solids (ie runny oatmeal milk) over Christmas break to see how that goes. If it is a hit, we will go for squash or sweet potatoes, which were Greyson's favorites!

I tried and tried to take a picture of Gunner with Santa hat on, but it was much more fun to eat than wear, as you can see by the pic!

It's official...our walk has been scheduled

Gunner's Team will be recuriting for the Battle Creek Walk on April 17, 2010....save the date!!!

November 17th...Fight for Preemies!

Every year, 20 million babies are born too soon, too small and very sick ― half a million of them in the United States. November 17 is when we fight.

Do you know a baby that was born too soon, too small, unable to suck, unable to breathe on his own? Premature birth is a health crisis that jeopardizes the lives and health of nearly half-million babies each year. It is the #1 killer of newborns and can lead to lifelong disabilities. Worse: the number has increased 31 percent since 1981. It can happen without warning and for no known reason. Until we have more answers, anyone’s baby, could be born too soon.

Medical advances give even the tiniest babies a chance of survival, yet for many babies premature birth is still a life or death condition. It’s the #1 cause of death during the first month of life. And babies who survive face serious health challenges and risk lifelong disabilities.

The rate of premature birth has never been higher. In half the cases, we simply don’t understand what went wrong. We need to fight for answers. And, ultimately, preventions.

November 17 is dedicated to raising awareness of the crisis of premature birth. The March of Dimes invites bloggers like you to get involved.

• Learn about premature birth at marchofdimes.com/fightforpreemies

• Put a badge on your blog during November, Prematurity Awareness Month®

• On November 17, blog for a baby you love and to help others

We need to fight ― because babies shouldn’t have to.

Bills or Blog???

The answer to that question should be obvioius....well, I am actually multitasking, calling on a bill for Gunner and blogging. I am only able to do this while he is awake because he is soooo engorssed in a new old toy I just brought up from the basement. I will attach photo evidence for your viewing pleasure!

Back to the original thought..why is it that I have to call and question each and every bill that isn't covered? Do they not pay people to do this? I'm not getting paid and I could use the money..

I look at the history of my blogging and I see that I had a lot more time when Gunner was in the hospital and now that he is sleeping or playing more, I am more able to find time...but I am predicting that very soon I will be MIA again unless the stars align and it is quiet time all over the house at the same time. Gunner is getting to be quite the mover and shaker..

Have I mentioned that November is Prematurity Awareness Month yet?? lol, I know silly question...I know the answer to that!

Random thoughts at "Quiet Time"

Just enjoying another day of RSV hibernation/deer hunting widowdom...that means making cookies with Greyson (Grama D's famous molasses cookies, which is special in itself, because when you include Greyson in the mix, that is 4 generations of tradiation) and cuddling with Gunner.

We hope Brian is successful in the woods, that will fill the freezer, which means I have to go to Bronson and drop off milk...since Brian is now laid off (not that he has gotten a pay check in the last 6 weeks) so this will be a stressful winter. But, let's not talk money...

Nothing really special to report, besides the fact that Gunner is now over 13 lbs, which I know because we went into the peditrician's yesterday because he has been stuffy for so long and I was worried it might be getting into his ears causing an infection...yep, we caught it very early, but now he has to take antibiotics 2x's a day. So, yes, that means he will need 2-3 viles of synagis for RSV.

So here are my random thoughts that I promised:

• Today has been quite productive...I have already sanitized the house and made three dinners for the week.

• Too many women together almost always spells drama. Especially when the whole truth is not involved.

• My new favorite scents are lysol and bleach...too bad my hands are taking the brunt of this new obsession.

• Brian has officially diagnosed me as nuerotic. I lysoled the air after my brother stopped by and coughed in our living room.

• Money is the root of all evil. I have heard this many times...I now know it to be true.

• Lifetime movie marathons (which is what happens when Brian goes hunting) reminds me of hospital bedrest.

• In hindsight, with a sleeping prince next to me, hospital bedrest wasn't that bad!

• I am getting emotional as I pack away baby clothes Gunner has outgrown. He is now in 0-3 months, but soon will be in 3-6. He is growing like crazy!

• Gunner has a favorite blanket. It is a pale green hand-me-down from Greyson that seemingly never appealed to him. It is a "nany" (na-nee) which means a thermal blanket with a silky trim. Every kid in my family had one, except me. He especially loves it when he gets tired and wants to cuddle with it and his paci. That is the only time he wants a paci...otherwise he acts like it gags him. here is the infamous blanket.

• Gunner is cooing, smiling and communicating with us. He very soon will be babbling, as I have heard him do it on accident. He also follows people and objects and voluntarily grabs and transfers from hand to hand. He is behaving much like a 4 month old baby, which is right in where should be in terms of developmental milestones on both motor and social scales.


• We tried the jumperoo...not so interested yet...but he fits, which is a huge deal. I just wanted to see if it was anything he wanted to try. Not yet, so we will stick to a lot of floor time and in the bouncy seat. I took a pic of him in it just for fun...




• Greyson is very concerned about "his baby", if Gunner should cry, he makes it known "his baby" needs to be taken care of! This has been happening several times a day when I have to suction him (not to mention in the middle of the night!)
  

• One more pic of Greyson that I am in love with. He is actually **smiling** not saying "cheese" which produces the most odd looking face.
  
  
  Remember, November is almost here....

Million $$ Baby....and worth every penny

Gunner's goal is to be worth a million dollars, so I think. What brings on this?

The synagis shots that I celebrated the other day, well they are pricey. How pricey you ask...how about $2500 per 50mg. And 50mg is only good for a 7lb baby.

Well, I am proud that Gunner is a healthy 12 lbs! That means each of his shots will run $5000 at first and then when he hits the 14lb mark, they go up to $7500 per shot. So I am conservatively guessing his whole treatment for the five shots will cost about $35,000. Thank God for insurance. The two treatments this year will be covered 100%, but then the treatments in January, February, and March our on us. Yes, we only pay 10% after our deductible, but that is still $750 per shot.

Gotta love healthcare hiway robbery. I know, I will not complain, there are many deserving babies being DENIED!!! So I will gratefully rack up another hospital bill and worry about it later. As I said, worth every penny. You cannot really put a price on him.

Especially when he gives you these puppy dog eyes!

Whoo hoo approval for synagis

What is synagis? I might file that answer under the topic "Only a preemie mom knows". It is a treatment that will help Gunner lessen the effects of RSV, if he should get it. Remember the neurotic RSV letter? Yeah, that stuff.

Here is what I read yesterday on the Synagis website:

Q. Is Synagis a vaccine?
A. No. Even though Synagis is given as a shot, it's not a vaccine and it works differently. Each Synagis shot provides a dose of virus-fighting substances called antibodies that help prevent RSV from infecting your baby's lungs for about 28 to 30 days. That's why babies who need Synagis get monthly shots during RSV season.


Q. How many Synagis shots will my baby need?
A. If your baby is on Synagis, he or she will need one shot each month during RSV season. Your baby needs to keep getting Synagis as long as prescribed by your healthcare provider.

So basically, he will get a treatment every 4 weeks during RSV season, which is November to April. Five shots. Not fun for him, but certainly a reassuring treatment. No it won't prevent it, but it will lessen the effects of it.

Things happen for a reason

well, it has been said many a time that things happen for a reason. I would like to think that I was chosen to have a preemie because something good would come of it. I have this undeniable urge to "give back" to all that made it possible for us to have what has become the most amazing little boy in our life, equal only of course to his brother!

I want to do March of Dimes fundraisers, raise awareness of prematurity, do nice things for our nurses, and provide support to other NICU parents. So be prepared, I may enlist you in my quest!

A visual...for those who find me neurotic

This is the difference between Gunner and a full term newborn baby:



So, when you look at the perfect fatty fatso outside, you have to remember this is the preterm 4lb at birth inside. His lungs won't catch up until he is at the very least two. So that may be when I will become less neurotic. maybe.

the RSV letter...

To all our Family & Friends,

Now that Fall is upon us and Winter is right around the corner, I wanted to take this time to remind everyone that RSV season is here (October thru April). For those of you who are unaware what RSV is, RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), is more than just a cold. It's a serious and contagious virus for young children especially those born less than 36 weeks. Our little Gunner was born at 33 weeks. What is a common cold or mild cough for us as adults can manifest itself into something more dangerous to the babies if they are exposed to it, especially our babies who were born prematurely.

It is very, very easy to contract RSV. It is spread by physical contact (such as shaking hands with an infected person) or thru the air (usually from sneezing or coughing). RSV can also live for several hours on surfaces, such as doorknobs, telephones, faucet handles, counters or used tissues, towels, etc. RSV infections are very common in areas where people are crowded together. In homes where there are multiple children, such as us, RSV can spread very rapidly from child to child. And older children can even bring the virus home from school or a friend's house.

Gunner considered high-risk. Greyson and I have received our flu shots and Brian is getting one too. I am fighting with the insurance company to get synagis, a shot that will help prevent or lessen the effects of RSV for Gunner. If babies his age get RSV it can be really problematic with breathing. Greyson got it and had to have breathing treatments and they were really worried about him. Gunner on the other hand will most likely have to be hospitalized if he gets it and due to his prematurity it may even be fatal.

Even though his is getting big, is doing so well, and is otherwise healthy, we still need to be extra careful (maybe even anal) about illness, especially RSV.

So with that, we would like to ask visitors, that if or when you come over, to please wash your hands before touching Gunner. Please try to get a flu shot, if it's possible for you, before they run out. Also, please refrain from coming over if you are currently sick, or you were sick but have not been symptom-free for at least 5 days, or have been in contact with someone who is/was really sick.

We will not be venturing out much with Gunner until Spring is here, which unfortunately includes some family, birthday, and holiday gatherings, unless we determine the environment will be safe and germ free for him at that particular time.

We really want to make it through the winter without ending up in the hospital. His lungs have come a long way. But believe it or not, they are still very fragile, at least until they are two. Then we can all breathe a little easier.

Please don't take this the wrong way. This email was not meant to offend anyone or isolate us from anyone or anything in particular. We are just trying to do what is best for the kids. We are taking the threat of RSV very seriously and just needed to set some simple guidelines. We hope you understand and appreciate your respect on this matter.

Here is a link to better educate you on RSV and what can be done to prevent it:
[www.preemiecare.org]

Proof of a Miracle

That is what his onsie says... I agree.



As we embark on the beginning of cold and flu season, I find my self just plain neurotic. Brian is convinced that I am, I will wear that label proudly. I have been trying to decide wether to post the "RSV Letter" that has been circling the Preemie Board where I go to chat with other preemie moms who dealing with the same issues I am. I probably will, although everyone who reads this already knows what it says. oh well.

Gunner has a stuffy nose. So what do I do? Obsessively check his head for a temp, google RSV symptoms, and worry my butt off. Yes, he is a miracle, we got it once, do I really want to risk it again?

How Preemie Moms are Chosen

Stolen from a fellow preemie mom's blog, in honor of all of us, especially during November! I'm "borrowing" this from Million $$'s blog. Not sure if it's been posted before, but I absolutely love it. A little religious, but beautiful.



~How Preemie Moms Are Chosen~*~
(Erma Bombeck)

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he
observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to
profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?
She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That
would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has
just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time,
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--
ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--
and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice.