Parenting...what the NICU road taught me

I am a two-time mommy.  I knew what to expect with the birth of my second child.  What I expected was not what happened.  After six weeks of hospital bedrest, I gave birth to my youngest at 33 weeks.  Everything I "expected" and knew went out the window.

I had diapered a child before.  I learned to diaper a child smaller than the baby dolls I had as a child.  I learned to manuever around the wires to prevent false alarms that still sent a shock thru my being.

I had breastfed a child before.  I learned that preemies born before 34 weeks don't eat on their own.  They lack the suck/swallow reflex and then when you add remembering to breathe in there, it take much longer.  I learned to determine when and if he could handle nursing and for how long so that he may finish a feeding orally as opposed to through a tube in his nose.

I had snuggled a baby before.  I learned the benefits of Kangaroo care.  Each time I would hold my son all of his respiratory and pulmonary functions regulated.  He became one with me.  His temperature controlled, his breathing regular, slow and peaceful.

I had woken in the middle of the night to check if my child was still breathing before.  I learned that I would call nightly when I was pumping (typically 3 am) to see if my child had gained, had breathing spells, etc. since I had left him in the hospital.

I had bathed a child before.  I learned to bathe a child in a bedpan no basin no bigger than a bedpan and still he looked like he was in a kiddie pool.  A process that required two people.

I had a c-section and an extended stay at the hospital, taking my son home after 4 days before.  I learned what it felt like to leave your heart (child) at the hospital and not take him home for another 6 weeks.

I had flowers, visitors, and baby gifts sent to us before.  I learned who was really there for us and could handle this new challenge we were embarking on.  They still visited, sent flowers and gifts and treated this as it should be, a celebration, a little early, but a celebration.

The NICU experience certainly taught me that things are out of your control.  Even when you do everything right, there is no gaurantee.

Press Release, you see it first

I am not sure when or if this will make the paper, so I wanted to share it with you. This is a press release about our efforts specifically at the VBTC to support the MOD's mission.

Press Release- For Immediate Release
March of Dimes Fundraiser Nets Over $1,000.00 for “Team Gunner”

Lawrence- Health Academy Instructor Karen Obreiter rallied her students to participate in a March of Dimes Fundraiser this year. The Health Academy consists of four college level classes including Medical Terminology, Introductory Psychology, Human Growth and Learning and Interpersonal Communications. Students may receive high school credit for these classes and, if they meet the criteria, may earn up to twelve college credits through Southwestern Michigan College, It was a weeklong fundraiser, to raise money for the March of Dimes, an organization that supports healthy babies and safe pregnancies. Because the goal was to help raise money for safe and healthy babies, the contest that they sponsored was a “Cutest Baby Contest,” in which people could drop money in a can positioned behind a picture of seven beautiful babies, the idea being that you were voting for this darling baby that was pictured in front of the can with the slot. The class named the drive “Team Gunner,” after Christi Young’s son Gunner, born in June 2009. Christi is the Social Work Program Advisor of the Social Sciences Division at Southwestern Michigan College, and Karen Obreiter’s Lead Instructor for the classes here at the Van Buren Technology Center. Christi Young had experienced a traumatic series of events during her pregnancy, including having her water break at 28 weeks. Hospitalized at 28 weeks, she was kept in bed for the remainder of her pregnancy, which ended at 33 weeks, putting Gunner into the NICU for the next six weeks. Because of his early birth, Gunner required extensive medical intervention to develop to the point where he could live on his own. Karen’s classes studied these subjects, including premature and post mature births and birth defects in Human Growth and Learning, and the medical terms related to the female reproductive system in Medical Terminology course. Many of the medical interventions that were available to Gunner were the result of progress developed in part by funding for research from the March of Dimes. Additionally, Christi came to the classes at the Van Buren Technology Center with a powerpoint presentation on premature births, possible complications and potential preventive measures.

While the classes had a most modest goal of raising $150.00 for the March of Dimes, the Van Buren Intermediate School District and the Technology Center NEVER go small on anything. Students and staff alike are blessed with enthusiasm for every cause, and this cause, “Team Gunner” was no different. On the first day, they blew by the $150.00 goal, and by the end of the week had a total of $1,065.83. Bethany Milnickel, from Watervliet, went to her Principal, and asked if they could raise money at Watervliet High School for “Team Gunner” and the March of Dimes. With his blessing, the Watervliet High School held a “Hat and Pajama” Day where students could donate $2.00 to wear either a hat or pajamas to school that day. Watervliet, and Bethany raised $120.00 to add to “Team Gunner” for that extra effort! The Cutest Baby Contest raised $487.08, with little Henry Barber raking in $191.00 to lead the baby contest and Gavin Vegter brought in $121 as first runner-up. Adding in the Southwestern Michigan College donations to “Team Gunner,” we have a total of over $3,000.00 for the March of Dimes.

Additionally, students from Early Childhood Care Education, Fundamentals of Patient Care, and Health Academy all walked in the March of Dimes March march for babies on April 17th 2010. At the walk, students met families with healthy babies that had been born early as well as families of babies that did not survive their premature birth. As a result of their fundraiser and walk, these young people may be more empathic and compassionate health care professionals in the future. These students all participated in a cause that annually saves the life of many babies around the nation, although they set their sites around one little baby close to home.

How my mission (MOD) became your mission

The mission of the March of Dimes is to make sure every baby has its full nine months. I was touched by this mission when my son was born two months too soon. I personally planned on Marching for Healthy Babies while I was laying in a hospital bed sometime last May. I assumed it would be me who walked.

Much to my delight, surprise and amazement, my walk became "our" walk. My team grew before I even told people there was one. I hadn't even told Brian the dates and Team Gunner was three strong. My mother in law and a co-worker had already joined. As much as I was tickled by the team members, I was equally blown away by the donations received. Our team was at $200 before the end of January...the march was in April.

When I talked about prenatal development in my classes, I found not one, but SIX students who were the parent of a premature baby. When you add in the students who had a friend, sibling or relative who had a premature baby the total rose to about 12. Needless to say, students at SMC have been touched with the mission of the March of Dimes. Various fundraising efforts including pizza and sundae socials and a student manned a booth at Campus Bash hosting a cutest baby contest raised over $400 dollars for the March of Dimes. SMC faculty also donated over $200.

I guest lectured at the Van Buren Tech Center about prematurity. Many of the students there will become SMC students; they too were inspired to action. They held a week long cutest baby contest, sold T-shirts and awareness bands raising over $900. A student from Watervaliet High School took this mission on her own and got permission from her HS administrators to do a hat and pajama day at school and brought in another $120. We had the largest team there because over 20 students showed up over 50 miles from home to walk!

So needless to say, this was initially my mission, but it became so many other's as well.

On April 17th, Team Gunner comprised of family and friends who were touched by the premature birth marched on to make an impact on the goals of the March of Dimes. Together, we had the largest team of walkers there and raised over $3000 to help every baby get their full nine months.

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Today we march....

Today we march. We march for healthier babies, for families torn by the NICU experience, for angel babies too perfect for this world, for families who experience the loss of a child, for mother’s who have to pump instead of nursing their babies, because other than that they are helpless in the care of their baby, for father’s who pace the halls and stand by their baby’s mother in fear of what is next, for preemies of ALL gestational ages and levels of health, and for anyone touched by the mission of the march of dimes.

We began this crusade sometime during my hospital bedrest stay. I was reading a blog, which moved me to tears, on how an amazing little boy and his parents decided to pay it forward. (Yes, we have all seen the movie) In lieu of birthday gifts, Robbie requested shower type gifts and scrap booking supplies for the families in the NICU. On his big day they delivered a carload of cupcakes and all of the donations made by his family and friends to the Hospital he was born at. At that moment, I knew I too, had to pay it forward.

So in December when they announced the dates of the Kalamazoo area walks, I marked my calendar and started my team. As of my tally last night, which does not include everything, we have raised over $2700.

What will that money go to? Funny you should wonder, because I have a story to go with that. Today, one of my team mates mentioned that her neighbor has a child who was born in the 20’s (weeks that is, not sure when) and has CP. She questioned herself when my team member asked her to donate, why she hadn’t done anything for the March of Dimes. She quickly answered herself…saying she never used their services. I have to beg to differ. I am the proud mother of 2 and aunt of 6..and 1/3. Each of those babies has benefited from the MOD’s research.

§ Not one of those mother’s took a drink of alcohol during pregnancy, why because the MOD’s research made Dr’s aware of the consequences of consuming alcohol in pregnancy (1973)
§ Not one of those babies left the hospital without newborn screening, that looks for 21 of the 29 life-threatening (if not detected) illnesses to newborns. The MOD has pushed for this since the early 80’s.
§ Every one of those mothers took prenatal vitamins with at least 800 mg of folic acid in them, because the MOD research showed the link between folic acid and neural tube health, decreasing defects by about 30%.
If Gunner should have had problems breathing at birth, which thank God he didn’t, he would have been treated with a artificial form of surfactant, which keeps the lungs inflated, which was also developed by MOD research.

So, rest assured, the money will go to a great use!

Seven days and Sunny

Time till the walk and the forecast for Saturday...I will keep you on a day to day update!

I am sure you are all getting a little tired of hearing about the March of Dimes and what they do and how I am trying to raise money for them, but I will be honest, I think that I have a lot more unresolved issues with Gunner's birth and NICU stay than I even realize. I most often don't really think about it. But, I say that, because all it takes is for me to see or meet someone who is fighting the same fight I am, raising money for the March of Dimes or telling their story of their little one born too soon.

For example, today I ran into Walmart and by the time I came out I see a familiar sight, a bright purple "family team" t-shirt that I know too well. This shirt is the uniform of someone who like me, rode that NICU rollercoaster, didn't get to take their baby home with them, fed their baby through a tube, pumped instead of nursed, maybe even lost a baby, and was also helped by the March of Dimes.

I chatted with her, made small talk, swapped GA's of our babies and said see you next weekend. She is walking for her 2lb 27 weeker next weekend. Truth be told, as soon as I got to my car I broke down in tears. Broke down because I know this is another family touched by prematurity. Touched to the point of action. I don't know this woman, but I know all to well her story.

So, do I apologize for getting on a soapbox on Gunner's Blog, that you may come to expecting to find amazing updates on this preemie miracle? Maybe, but I don't apologize fighting this fight for all those families who are in the trenches right now, not lucky enough to get their full nine months. So, bear with me...maybe next year I will have a blog dedicated to just that. But truth be told, although this is Gunner's Blog, this is also his story too. He was the 1 of 8 babies that is born prematurely...so he will always be a MOD baby.

He is why we walk...and probably always will.

MOD t-s are in!

Our Family Team shirts are in...Gunner is in charge of distribution

Here is my baby, who could be a model, modelling the smallest size available!

What does the March of Dimes do?

I have been asking everyone to support the March of Dimes, but I have never really gone into their mission and what they do with the funds they raise.

The MOD organizes many events that support these efforts to end prematurity, raise awareness and try to ensure every baby gets their full nine months. Brian and I are signing up for one of the more "ritzy" events later this year, the Signature Chef Auction, in which they have a lot of local reknowned chefs prepare their signature dishes, and the guests go from station to station sampling them. It is about $75 a plate, so we figured if we donate our time we could check out a cool event without the steep price tag.

Here are some examples to show you what good you are doing by supporting this amazing cause:

• They funded research for surfactant, which allows babies lungs to stay inflated and really helped survival rates in early preemies.



• March of Dimes volunteer efforts lead to increase in newborn screening. Nearly 90 percent of all babies born in the U.S. – more than double the percentage in 2005 – live in states that require screening for at least 21 of 29 life-threatening but treatable disorders.



• The March of Dimes promotion of folic acid fortification and awareness contributed to a 21 percent decline in the occurrence of neural tube birth defects between 1995 - 2000.



• March of Dimes volunteers developed key provisions and worked to enact The Children's Health Act of 2000. The law creates a National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and helps states to expand newborn screening
  


• They also offer support to families in the NICU and provide a support system for mothers that are in the antepartum unit, many on bedrest like I was for weeks or months.

So trust me, your funds will go to a great cause. A cause that I feel justified in supporting because of all of the support it lent to me in my time of need.

Marching for Babies...3 weeks to go!

Our family is forming a March for Babies Family Team to help the March of Dimes work towards the day when all babies are born healthy. We are writing today to ask you to join us!

We are forming our team in honor of our son, Gunner, who was born 2 month too soon. My water broke at 28 weeks and we held on until we hit 33 weeks. He spent 39 days in the NICU at Bronson. He was born unable to maintain his temperature, unable to eat (prior to the sucking reflex even developing), and had to have IV antibiotics and feeds. He had a very high billirubin count, requiring phototherapy and suffered from anemia, and still does. By sharing our story, we hope to remind everyone of the urgency of the mission of the March of Dimes and inspire our friends and family to join our team.

Ours is not the only story of frightening, touch-and-go days in neonatal intensive care with our baby. In fact, I know that many babies are born much earlier and have a much more treacherous rollercoaster ride in the NICU, and of course, there are the angel babies who are born way too soon and earn their wings before they bless their parents with their first cry. We are thankful for each day of hellish and uncertain bedrest that I endured at Spectrum and Bronson, because each day was equivilent to 3 days longer Gunner would have been in the NICU. This is why we walk.

Premature birth touches half a million babies and their families every year. Babies born too soon are more likely to die or have disabilities. Birth defects pose another serious threat – taking the lives of many babies and cause lifelong disabilities for thousands more. So it’s important for us to help the March of Dimes help moms have full-term pregnancies and healthy babies.We are doing just that by participating in March for Babies as a Family Team. No one is working harder than the March of Dimes to understand the causes of prematurity and birth defects. March for Babies offers hope by raising funds for lifesaving research, education and innovative programs that offer hope for preventions and solutions for babies born too soon or with birth defects.

Won’t you join our Family Team at this wonderful event? Call me for further details, or go to http://www.marchforbabies.org/ register online. Our team name is affectionately named TeamGunner. If you can’t join us, please consider sponsoring our team with your donation. Just log on to my personal web page www.marchforbabies.org/teamgunner or send a check payable to the March of Dimes to me. Every dollar makes a difference!

One day all babies will be born healthy. But we’ll have to walk to get there! Thank you for your help.

22 days till we March!

I am very excited and so blessed to have a reason to celebrate this march! I am blown away by the generosity and support from all of my family and friends!

We will be looking stylish in our new t-shirts ordered and coordinated by my unofficial co-captain Karen!

Here are a few words from our sponsors:

Here's to Gunner Young - a happy, healthy, BIG BOY! Here's to all preemies and their parents - we wish you all long-term health and happiness :)The McCauley's- From Stacy McCauley

Christi I as so sorry I can't walk with you. If you walk again I would like the opportunity to walk. Good luck. Angie- From angela barber

To Team Gunner; AKA Little Man!- From PaPa Young

I hope this helps a little!- From Margie Waird

Oh what Gunner can do...

I have had a lot of time this weekend to watch the boys and all the cool things they can do!

Greyson has amazed me with his very creative toy sorting, building and imaginative play. I have to attach pictures to demonstrate...working hard on his fine motor skills.

Gunner on the other hand is all about the gross motor skills. He is officially able to sit unassisted. Greyson and Gunner sat and played for about an hour with Gunner's toys (the stage and dinosaur)

We also got our shipment from Old Navy...thank you Uncle Marty...now here are the boys modeling their new beach gear!

He rolls to where ever he wants to go, getting ready to crawl...he tripods and lifts to the plank position. He is almost 17 lbs and 27 inches long!

8 Months...

Eight months ago, at this very moment, I noticed that there was something concerning that I had to report to the docs. They checked me out and less than an hour later I was on my way to delivery. It's is Gunner's 8 month birthday today. He seemed to celebrate with some new skills..

TRIPOD

He actually has been doing this for awhile now. He props himself up on his hands and you can see actual clearance between his belly and the floor. This is quite a feat as the boy doesn't miss a meal. He loves to eat and it shows. He is 17lbs today, down to a dry diaper. His favorite foods are anything that I make, won't touch the commercial stuff. If I sneak a bite in, he gives me the ughhh face!

SITTING (not quite unassisted)

With mommy hands on, I let him go. He balances and can sit for about 5-10 second before he leans one way or the other.

ARMY CRAWL

The boy is trying to crawl...he scoots backwards and rolls and moves to whatever he is looking for.

BROTHERLY LOVE...

I was disappointed at first that I didn't have a girl to be a big sister/helper to me when bringing Gunner home (I have always wanted boys, but upon his homecoming, I just thought that would be easier)...but Greyson is the best big helper I could ask for. He is the diaper getter, paci/toy retriever, and anything else that is preceeded by "bighelper"

MOD Kickoff

It is official....I have obviously been in denial. Denial that I am a preemie mom, yes I act the part and hibernate from germs, sanitize sterilize, see a difference in Gunner's milestone attainment...but everyday, he is a fat, healthy, and strong baby. Any outsider would never guess he is a preemie. I guess I have fallen into this mindset too, all too quickly forgetting the struggle we had to get him where he is today.

Last night, I was reminded. I went to the MOD kickoff meeting...just walking around, looking at little kids that were once preemies, meeting the ambassador family (twins born at 23 weeks 6 days, one a sweet tiny 4 year old girl, the other an angel boy), pictures on the wall, the film promoting the walk....I was a mess, unexpectedly, but very publicly...bawling. It was wonderful, but hard too.

I am even more passionate now, humbling to remember how far we have come!

I am so grateful for everyone who has pledged their support or already made a donation to our team, but if you haven't, please consider it. You can join our team by clicking this link.

If you choose to donate in lieu of walking, here are some amounts to consider:

$7, $1 for each week Gunner should have spent in the belly past when he was born

$23.10, 10-cents a day for each day Gunner was in utero (this should be a $40 donation, if he were full term)

$39, $1 a day for each day Gunner was in the NICU

$51, $1 for each week I was on bedrest, in total fear of the outcome

Gunner and his parents thank you...

33 in 33 out....weeks that is

I got an email announcing that Gunner has made it to 33 weeks of age. I don not usually pay any attention to those because he never measures up as those are for full term babies.....but, that is how far he was gestationally. 33 weeks. Now, he is 33 weeks on the outside. So 33 weeks in, 33 weeks out.

I thought that I might celebrate with some pics...

Gunner has started solids...here is him enjoying carrots...

Gunner got a belated Christmas gift...yes he is adorable...but look at that tongue. :)

This is my litle boy looking so much like his daddy's baby pics...minus the eyes. Those are mine, even though I wanted him to have Daddy's eyes, since Greyson has mine!

New Years Resolution: Healthier me, Healthier Babies

I don't think I have ever been really happy to see a new year or sad to see one go, but I can tell you 2009 has been a rollercoaster of a year for us.

On January 1 of 2009, we knew that we were excitedly completing our family. But, there was no way we would have ever dreamed that we would have a premature baby, early, maybe by a few days, not months.

We had no way of predicting that our family would be ripped apart with hospital bedrest for six weeks. An almost three year old would be tossed back and forth between family members to accomodate Mommy not being there. The same child who had up to that time never spent a night away from either of his parents.

We had no idea what the NICU was about. Surrounded by babies born way too soon, some of them to never come home.

So, instead of making the same old resolution that I often make regarding healthy choices, I am going to take that one step further. A choice that will make myself as well as babies healthier. I am resolving to create a team, participate in the March of Dimes March for Babies walk, and hit my goal of $1000 for my team. I am so excited.

You can access our team page, affectionately called TeamGunner , named after the little man that inspired this all. He is such a success story, but who knows what could have or would have been if only one variable had changed. Please check it out and consider walking with us or making a small donation. It's only 3 miles!!!

If Gunner had been Jillian...

this may be what my baby girl would have looked like...lol



Story behind this...I was wearing the headband and he was playing with it so I stuck it on his head...how stinkin cute! I thought he looked girly with the expression, headband and the most adorable long eye lashes I have ever seen!